The depth of separation experienced by the Lord’s mother.

By Srila Bhakti Sundar Govinda Dev-Goswami Maharaj

Krishna Himself appeared as Sri Gaurangadev as well as Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. Krishna took the heart and halo of Radharani and appeared as Sri Gaurangadev. Later, after His sannyas, He became Sri Chaitanyadev.

There is an expression of Radharani in Sri Chaitanya-charitamrta:

na gani apana-duhkha dekhi’ vrajesvari-mukha
vraja-janera hrdaya vidare
kiba mara’ vraja-vasi kiba jiyao vraje asi’
kena jiyao duhkha sahaibare?
(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrta: Madhya-lila, 13.145)

“We are not considering our own heart’s pain, but when we see the face of Mother Yasoda—the condition of Mother Yasoda without Your presence here—our hearts break again and again. We cannot tolerate that pain. We can tolerate our own pain, but we cannot tolerate seeing the pain of Mother Yasoda.”

We can see that the situation of Mother Sachi when Sriman Mahaprabhu took sannyas was similar to that of Mother Yasomati when Krishna left Vrndavan. When Sriman Mahaprabhu decided to take sannyas, He told five people. One of them was Mother Sachi, and when she heard, she fainted. Mahaprabhu showed her His divine form and said, “Who are you? And who am I?” Then Mother Sachi felt some nourishment for the time being, but when Mahaprabhu left, Mother Sachi fell into a coma-like condition. She was seated outside the house in the middle of the night as Mahaprabhu left. She fell into a coma-like state when she saw Him leaving. Mahaprabhu touched her lotus feet and then left. Mother Sachi did not express anything at that time.

In Vraja Dham, when Krishna left, Mother Yasomati and Nanda Maharaj reacted similarly. There is some speciality here [in the separation felt within vatsalya-rasa], and that same speciality is present in the Pastimes of Mahaprabhu.

rakhite tomara jivana sevi ami narayana
ta̐ra saktye asi niti-niti
toma-sane krida kari’ niti yai yadu-puri
taha tumi manaha mora sphurti
(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrta: Madhya-lila, 13.154)

Krishna told Radharani, “To maintain Your affectionate form, I am worshipping Narayan every day, and I am getting some power from Narayan.” Krishna did not say, “I have My own power”, He said, “Every day I am going to Vraja Dham, I am playing with You, and You are enjoying with Me. But when I come back to Dvaraka, You feel as though it was only a dream. But it is not a dream; it is truth!”

Mahaprabhu also performed these types of Pastimes, and He sent Damodar Pandit to Mother Sachi in Nabadwip and told him, “When My mother makes offerings to Narayan and thinks of Me, I come there and take prasadam. Really, I am taking prasadam there. My mother thinks it is an illusion, but it is not. It is truth! She thinks that she may have forgotten to making an offering for Narayan, but this is not the case. When She offers food, I go there, take the prasadam, and then come back here. I did this on this particular day. Remind My mother of this, and then she will believe it.” Mahaprabhu instructed Damodar Pandit to give Mother Sachi this message.

We always remember Radharani, Her associates, and the other Vraja-gopis, but we forget Nanda Maharaj and Yasomati Mayi. But Srila Krishnadas Kaviraj Goswami mentioned:

na gani apana-duhkha dekhi’ vrajesvari-mukha
vraja-janera hrdaya vidare
kiba mara’ vraja-vasi kiba jiyao vraje asi’
kena jiyao duhkha sahaibare?

[Radharani said to Krishna: “I do not care about My own pain, but when we see the face of Mother Yasoda, our hearts breaks. Sometimes You nearly kill the residents of Vraja, and sometimes You enliven them by coming to Vraja. Why do You keep them alive just to cause them pain?”]

When Radharani asked this question, Krishna gave a very sweet answer: “I am going to Vraja Dham every day, but You are thinking it is an illusion or a dream. It is not; truly it is Me!” To answer Her, Krishna spoke this verse, which is found in Srimad Bhagavatam:

mayi bhaktir hi bhutanam amrtatvaya kalpate
distya yad asin mat-sneho bhavatinam mad-apanah
(Srimad Bhagavatam: 10.82.44)

“You all have incomparable devotion, and I cannot give you anything in return for it. Generally, divine devotion to Me gives everyone ecstasy, but I get ecstasy from your devotion. This is My situation.”

Srila Krishnadas Kaviraj Goswami gave a very nice explanation of this verse in Sri Chaitanya-charitamrta:

sei sloka suni’ radha khandila sakala badha
krsna-praptye pratiti ha-ila
(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrta: Madhya-lila, 13.159)

He said, “Hearing this verse, Radharani believed, ‘What Krishna is saying is the truth’, and the pain in Her heart was gone.”

Every verse within what Srila Krishnadas Kaviraj Goswami expressed in this section of Sri Chaitanya-charitamrta is extremely beautiful and good. We could never have conceived of the meanings he has given. We know Sanskrit and the meanings of the verses he quoted, but that is not sufficient; deeper and deeper meanings are there—the deepest meaning is there—and Kaviraj Goswami has revealed it.

We are always hearing about Radharani and the gopis, but there is this one expression of Srila Krishnadas Kaviraj Goswami about Yasomati:

na gani apana-duhkha dekhi’ vrajesvari-mukha
vraja-janera hrdaya vidare
(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrta: Madhya-lila, 13.145)

Radharani said to Krishna, “We are so sad. We sometimes faint in separation from You, but that is not the most extreme sadness for us. Our most extreme sadness is seeing the face of Mother Yasomati.”

Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu gave great respect and honour to Mother Sachi. He gave as much honour as is possible for a sannyasi to give—He gave everything, and He gave even more than that. The cause of that is this [the cause of Mahaprabhu showing great honour to Mother Sachi is the great depth of Her love in separation].

Srila Rupa Goswami understood this very well, and whenever he composed verses in glorification of Chaitanyadev, he would bow down to Mother Sachi.

anarpita-charim chirat karunayavatirnah kalau
samarpayitum unnatojjvala-rasam sva-bhakti-sriyam
harih purata-sundara-dyuti-kadamba-sandipitah
sada hrdaya-kandare sphuratu vah sachi-nandanah
(Sri Chaitanya-charitamrta: Adi-lila, 1.4)

[“May the radiant, golden Lord, the son of Sachi, always be manifest in the core of your heart.”]

Sachi Nandan Gaurahari [‘Sachi’s son Gaurahari’] was always Srila Rupa Goswami’s ideal. Srila Rupa Goswami knew the importance of the Lord’s relationship with Mother Sachi, and we have seen that our Guru Maharaj also knew this same line.

Srila Rupa Goswami praised Mother Sachi everywhere, and identified the Lord as Sachi Nandan Gaurahari because no one can tolerate what Sachi Devi did. She tolerated everything so that the world would be blessed. Also, Mother Sachi knew that Mahaprabhu Sri Chaitanyadev is not only a Yuga-avatar; she knew he was tasting a higher type of ecstasy in the Gambhira. Mother Sachi would get news of this almost every week.

This is the divine gift of our Guru Maharaj to us, and to understand it, we must take shelter of the conception of Mahaprabhu given by Srila Saraswati Thakur and Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur, who gave us so many books and so many songs. Everything they have written is very, very perfectly expressed.


Spoken on of 14 June 2007.