I WANT TO TAKE HIM BACK

Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur and few other devotees are very attached to Nabadwip-lila where Gadadhar Pandit and the other members of the Pancha Tattva—Nityananda Prabhu, Advaita Prabhu, and Srivas Pandit—are playing with Sriman Mahaprabhu. Every day there is lila in the house of Srivas Pandit, and all night there is sankirtan. At that time, Sriman Mahaprabhu shows His supreme bhava, mahabhava, to the devotees and gives them all nourishment. They always get to chant in front of Mahaprabhu and dance with Him. Sometimes, Mahaprabhu very happily gives some extra nourishment to the devotees and in the early morning, He goes with all the devotees to bathe in the Ganges as they chant the Hare Krishna mahamantra. They dance, chant, and walk around, wandering along the Ganges. Generally at noon, after sankirtan—chanting, dancing, and so on—Mahaprabhu comes with the devotees to the garden known as Isodyan which is full of fruits and flower. There He has lilas of feasting each day at noon with the devotees.

This is Nadia-lila, Nabadwip-lila, and Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur likes this so much. Like Jagadananda Pandit, Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur cannot tolerate Mahaprabhu’s sannyas-lila. He likes Mahaprabhu’s Nabadwip-lila.

Five years or so after Mahaprabhu went to Nilachal, Jagannath Puri, He came back to Nabadwip and stayed in the house of Vidya Vachaspati Misra, the elder brother of Sarvabhauma Bhattacharya. He did not return exactly to the Mayapur, but he came to Kulia, Koladwip, where our Math, Sri Chaitanya Saraswat Math, is present. He did not go to the other side of Ganges where Mayapur is now present.

Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur’s expression of seeing Mahaprabhu at that time is,

ami chai gaurachandre la-ite mayapure
yathaya kaisora-vese sri-angete sphure
(Sri Navadvipa-bhava-taranga: 70)

“I feel very pained to see this form of Mahaprabhu who has no hair and no dress like the Mahaprabhu we know. I do not want this Mahaprabhu. He is dressed as a sannyasi;  I do not like His sannyasi appearance. I want to take Mahaprabhu back to Mayapur.”

Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur’s bhajan was to the Mahaprabhu who is always present in Nabadwip. We know that Krishna is always present in Vrndavan.

vrndavanam parityajya sa kvachin naiva gachchhati
(Sri Laghu-bhagavatamrta: Purva-khanda 165)

“Krishna does not go out of Vrndavan even for a moment.”

Similarly, there is a hidden lila of Mahaprabhu always present in  Nabadwip Dham, and Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur tried to worship that lila. He showed that he worshipped all lilas, but his heart’s desire is here:

ami chai gaurachandre la-ite mayapure
yathaya kaisora-vese sri-angete sphure
yathaya chachara kesa tri-kachchha-vasane
isodyane lila kare bhakta-jana sane
(Sri Navadvipa-bhava-taranga: 70)

[“I want to bring Gaurachandra back to Mayapur, where His youthful dress shines on His divine form, where with His wavy hair and dhoti tucked in three places, He performs Pastimes at Isodyan with His devotees.”]

Mahaprabhu’s lila in the garden of Isodyan is most preferable and gives the greatest happiness to Srila Bhakti Vinod Thakur.

Source

Spoken on 1 July 1992.